Note to Self: Just Let it Go to Voice Mail

February 11, 2015

. . . seriously, you’d think I’d know better by now . . .
(then again, it makes great fodder for my blog 🙂 )

The phone rings.
It’s a local number <le sigh>.
C’mon, it could be a new client.

Just let it go to voice mail.
If it’s important, they’ll leave a message.


I answer.

“StarrParalegals, this is Pamela Starr, how may I help you?”

Um, so, you’re a paralegal … attorney, right? I need some legal advice.

<Oh Lord, another one. Must.Resist.Urge.To.Blurt.Out. “CAN’T YOU READ??!!?? Resistance is futile. Shut up! I’ve got this!>

“Yes, I am a paralegal; not an attorney. I cannot give legal advice.

 But I have a question.

 <Of course you do. You were smart enough to find me! How is it you’re too dumb to read and/or comprehend the disclaimer that is plastered all over my website? You know the one that CLEARLY states: “Our services are NOT provided to the general public.” It’s right there, under the phone number that you just dialed!>

“I am a paralegal; not an attorney. I cannot give legal advice or answer your question. You will need to contact an attorney.”

An attorney?

<Good grief. It’s a simple concept. I feel a little like Anne Sullivan – Helen Keller’s teacher and companion. Alex, I’d like to buy a clue for $200.>

 “Yes ma’am. You need to contact a lawyer. As a paralegal, I cannot answer legal questions or provide legal advice.”

Well then, what ‘can’ you do???

 <Say WHAT???>

At this point, my jaw drops. I’m sitting there with my mouth wide open – catching flies as my momma might say – using every scintilla of willpower to keep from laughing out loud. I’m pretty sure a chortle or guffaw escaped my lips. The possible responses are running rampant in my head. It’s amazing how many thoughts one can process in just a matter of seconds!

  • Are you kidding me??
  • Look nitwit …
  • just hang up the phone
  • Asked and answered.
  • Seriously, are you farking kidding me?!?
  • Move along now kid, you bother me.
  • Phasers on stun!

“What can I do? What can I do?? (the laughter almost broke through) I can do just about anything, but unless you’re an attorney, I can’t help you. My company only works with attorneys.”

Well, uhhhhh…

“Yeah. Okay. B-bye.”


One Response to “Note to Self: Just Let it Go to Voice Mail”

  1. Pamela the Paralegal

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