F*CK YOU, #WellsFargo!

January 18, 2018

I’ve been on a social media hiatus (hopefully someone noticed) since Harvey the Hurricane destroyed the Gulf Coast and my hometown – Houston TX. It knocked me down and every time I got up, something else knocked me down …

Well folks, I’m back and I’m one PISSED OFF redhead!

Last night, as I was wrapping up a client project, my email dinged. It was an alert from #WellsFargo, my account had fallen below a set minimum balance.

Not to worry … I’d set up the alerts to keep me in the black. After all, I’m single and self-employed; my company receivables vary monthly; and I don’t have a set salary or income. Even though I check my accounts regularly, I’ve always thought it important to take a belt & suspenders approach to finances. (That’s why I use Mint to send alerts about upcoming payments and multiple resources to monitor my credit reports).

Maybe I forgot to ‘pay’ myself. If only.
Then the second email arrived: 

Your available balance has reached or dropped below zero

A BIG RED NEGATIVE BALANCE … $0.00 available funds. My checking and savings wiped out!

My account showed ‘pending payments’ to creditors – IN DUPLICATE – of nearly $13,000.00!!! I hadn’t started with anything near $13K in my combined accounts. It was like a blinking, neon sign.

“Pamela, you’re screwed!”

Paralegal mode engaged. SYSTEM FAILURE. Breathe Pamela … check your settings.

  • Had I mistakenly set up double payments? NO.
  • Did an alternate personality set up automatic draws on the creditor side? NO.

What the ever-loving F**K??

I couldn’t breathe. My vision was blurry. I found the number for customer service … fingers tingling. I dialed … ring, ring … the automated system welcomed me and asked how it could direct my call. I couldn’t form words, sentences. I screamed into the phone.

“REPRESENTATIVE!”

“I understand you’d like to speak to a representative. Please say or enter your account number so I can properly direct your call.”

Account number? I couldn’t remember my own name!

“000000000”

“That is an invalid entry, blah, blah, blah.”

BREATHE. Find account number.
BREATHE. Enter account number.
C A N ’ T   B R E A T H E.

Everything’s a blur … something about transferring me to a banker … hold music … ‘we’re experiencing an unusually high call volume’ … more music.

I really can’t breathe. Part of my brain is saying ‘DON’T PANIC!’ Yeah, right … I’m having a panic attack.

A voice! A human voice!

“Is this Ms. Starr?”

The working part of my brain is amazed. My information made it to the rep’s screen. I try to form words – he needs to hear words.

“What the hell???”

“Are you referring to the duplicate bill pay payments? This is a known IT issue. Everything is okay.”

“OKAY??!!! My m-m-m-m-m-money is g-gone! A-a-a n-n-negative b-b-balance of m-m-more m-m-money than I had. There is N-N-N-NOTHING okay about this!!”

“Ms. Starr, are you alright? Is there someone there with you? Please calm down, I need you to calm down and breathe.”

“I C-C-CAN’T B-BREATHE! <insert tears and far too rapid breaths> M-m-money. G-gone.”

“Ms. Starr – your money’s there. It’s just a glitch. Please check your account in an hour. I need you to call 911 now.” Click.

Lightheaded, hyperventilating, crying, trying to process his words.

A GLITCH!!???!!
A F*CKING GLITCH???!!??

I call a friend to talk me down. I take a Valium. I post to Facebook for the first time in almost 4 months.

A known IT issue??!!?? BEFORE panic sets in:

  • send a f*cking mass notice to your customers;
  • post a notice PROMINENTLY on EVERY PAGE of your website;
  • post an advisory on every social media platform.

My money is back where it belongs. How do I know? Because I went online and checked. Did the brain trust at #WellsFargo send a notice and apology? No.

#WellsFargo’s IT SNAFU nearly put me in the ER.

My money will soon be residing elsewhere. I’m losing time and business opening new accounts, resetting my bill pay and autopay accounts, changing everything linked to WF, calling creditors to alert them to possible late payments, likely incurring late charges and interest …

#WellsFargo must be held accountable to everyone affected by their ‘glitch’. We’ve been damaged and deserve compensation.

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It’s 2018 – Let’s Get Back to Work!

January 8, 2018

Happy New Year from StarrParalegals! We hope everyone had an enjoyable holiday season.

Yes, we’re a week into 2018 –  time to clear all that drudge work off your desk and get crackin’.

StarrParalegals is ready for new challenges. Bring it on!

  • E-filing, anywhere and everywhere
  • Bankruptcy Petition Preparation – from intake to filing – ALL chapters
  • Bankruptcy Motion Support (draft, file, serve)
    • Motions for Relief
    • Proofs of Claim
    • Notices of 4001 Examination
    • Proposed Orders
    • Fee Applications
    • and more . . .
  • Adversary Proceedings & Preference Actions (draft, file, serve)
    • Complaints/Answers
    • Case Management
  • UCC Filing, Search & Retrieval, Summarize Priority/Status
  • Litigation Support
    • Draft Pleadings
    • Document Review
    • Deposition Summaries
    • Prepare & Serve Subpoenas
    • Discovery Requests/Responses
    • Legal Research / Memoranda
  • Immigration Support

StarrParalegals is here to make your billable hour worth every penny. Tell us what you NEED. We’re quick studies and welcome the opportunity to increase our skill sets. If we can’t help you, we’ll refer you to someone that can.

Here’s to 2018 – a year of abundance and success for everyone!

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